Perspective

I hate the past.

There's no other nice way of putting it. I wish I could take back everything I have ever done.. Some days I'm so ashamed of myself, looking back now with a clear head I was stupid. So many people (cough mom cough) tried to tell me that what I was doing was wrong. But my last name is Ward. Let me explain a little bit what that means; it means that I am stubborn, I have pride, I am willing to help anyone who needs a hand, I'm a lover, and along with that love, I'm a fighter at heart. There's only one thing that I thank the past for and that is Dillon. We were talking the other night, like we always do and we came to the conclusion that the past led us to eachother. All the past mistakes I have made led me to the one I know I'm going to spend the rest of my life with. There is no ands, ifs, buts about it; I have made up my mind, he's the one.

But I guess karma has a way of catching up to people. Brandon ended up in ICU about a month ago. Him, Blake, and Callan were riding around on a golf cart, drinking. A cart was coming there way and Blake swerved to miss them, in doing that Brandon fell and busted his head onto the concrete. Callan ran off. He was caraflighted to JPS in fort worth. He died twice, and has had 4 open brain surgeries to stop the internal bleeding. He will be in rehab most likely for the next 5 months. If me and Bailey were still running with that crowd it could have been me or her that fell off that golf cart. But this has made Brandon want to graduate high school and even go to college. I guess big tragic moments involving life and death really makes a person look at their life. I'm just glad he is okay. I think I would have been pretty torn up if he had died... At one time we were best friends but not anymore.

BLAHHH
work is stressful, it makes me not want kids. I just don't have the patience that it takes to work with 15 three year olds all in a tiny room. After an hour I'm wanting to rip my hair out... and after two hours I'm a mess... lol. So I'm thinking that teacher might not be the right area for me.

We got a new puppy. Her name is Calli. She is five weeks old as of today. She's full blood American stoutshire aka Pit Bull. She thinks she's furocious. But I'll have to put pics up because she is the cutest thing ever. :)

well I gotta go get ready for work :)

-kelly

Construction...

Yes, that blushing bride is my sister :) She got married this summer and she hasn't been this happy since I can't even remember. I remember the first time I met Lincoln, I was ten, maybe younger. But I remember thinking I really hope she marries him, I wouldn't mind having him as my big brother. Seven years later they said "I do", am I good at calling them or what.

But that next picture is of me and yes, that is Dillon. He spent all day with me at the wedding, he was such a good sport. He dealt with my family all day, major brownie points for him that day.

But once again (for the second time) he is out of town :( He had to go back to Odessa to work on Halliburton. He had just gotten home and no lie, a day and a half later his crew had to go back until Saturday. I miss him like crazy :( It's making me hate construction. But I'm just glad I got to see him for that day and a half.

I have been working at Gateway Early Learning Center for about 2 months now. I'm enjoying every minute of it... haha not. I loved IT soooo much better lol. But its a job that's not fast food. But it has made me realize that maybe I don't want to be a teacher. It requires a lot of patience that I just don't have. I get frustrated too easily. I love the kids and that's the only reason I have stayed this long. There are those days that are AWFUL and then there are days like today where I can't wait to go back. But hopefully I get the secretary job I want SOON! I guess I don't mind sitting behind a desk all day, I actually enjoy it :)

I did go to Amarillo and had a blast :) Got to see Dillon's grandma, dad and little sister again :) They still love me thank God. His grandma told me I'm the best thing that has ever happened to Dillon, and turns out Dillon is the best thing that ever happened to me too. :) We got to go see some of his buddies and hang out with them for a while. I love being able to drive down there with him. That is his home and he is always smiling from ear to ear the entire time we are there :) I know he enjoys going and I love to get away from Cleburne and spend time with him. There has been talk of one day moving to Amarillo for a while. I woudln't mind getting away from thsi town and experiencing something new, but whatever is going to make him happy. I love how everytime we have to leave he is less and less upset. This last time he wasn't upset at all, when I asked him why. He said "baby you spoil me too much, your the only girlfriend that will drop 200 dollars, just to drive across Texas with me, spend your free weekend in a crappy town and still bring me back every month. I know we'll be back in less than two, so I'm not upset about it." It was very sweet :) and so true. We have been to Amarillo 4 times now and thats the most I have gone to Amarillo in the last 2 years. And he's right I'm sure we will be making that drive in less than a month because his baby, Wish, the pitbull he has had for years, isn't going to make it much longer. Her arthiritus is too bad for that. So I'm sure the weekend before they put her down we will go up there.

Well I'm off to watch a movie with my cousin Misty :)

Love!

-Kelly

Update in the Life of Kelly

I know it has been a long time but I'm back :)

This is just a quick update I'll go into details later.

As most of you know, or should know, I have been in a stable relationship going on 9 months now. His name is Dillon and needless to say he is the love of my life. Everything is so much better with him. We just got our own place and we are loving every minute of it. We both have rough pasts but we have moved on from that. I completely trust him with everything I have, I don't have to worry if he is cheating on me or talking to other girls. Everyone knows we are going to get married but we both agreed we have all the time in the world, no need to rush things. I love that I can be honest with eachother, and it's incredible how close we are. He really is my best friend, without him I'd be lost. AND his family adores me. HIs family is my family. I thank God every day that I found him. To think I met him at Dairy Queen :)

I have been sober and clean for almost 9 months, I haven't touched alcohol since early December. I can thank Dillon for that one. He's not a drinker and since we spend all our time together it was very easy for me to choose him over the bottle. I haven't been happier.

I'm no longer associated with any of my old friends except for Bailey. I made the decision that they were no good for me and that if I wanted to improve myself I had to get away. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be, they didn't seem to care, which just proves they never truly cared about me. But that's okay because I'm in such a better place now then I once was.

I am going to church again with my parents at Calvary Baptist and enjoying it very much. Dillon has come a few times but he works so much he doesn't get the chance to very often.

My parents are loving Dillon more and more by the day. I think they truly see that we love eachother and that he treats me the way I should be treated. I love that I can actually take my boyfriend over to my parents house and have dinner. Or go to Braums and have ice cream like we did the other night. It really was so much fun.

My parents are adjusting to me moving out, they say some days are harder than others but they know I'm growing up.

I will put pictures of me and Dillon up later. He's the cutest guy I have ever been with. Everyone thinks he is the older one but he's not. I am. But in experience and know how he trumps me in age.

Enjoy Labor Day Weekend :)

I will we are going up to Amarillo for the weekend :) I'll be sure to update Monday when I get back home.

Love y'all!