Wednesday, September 29, 2010


I hate the past.

There's no other nice way of putting it. I wish I could take back everything I have ever done.. Some days I'm so ashamed of myself, looking back now with a clear head I was stupid. So many people (cough mom cough) tried to tell me that what I was doing was wrong. But my last name is Ward. Let me explain a little bit what that means; it means that I am stubborn, I have pride, I am willing to help anyone who needs a hand, I'm a lover, and along with that love, I'm a fighter at heart. There's only one thing that I thank the past for and that is Dillon. We were talking the other night, like we always do and we came to the conclusion that the past led us to eachother. All the past mistakes I have made led me to the one I know I'm going to spend the rest of my life with. There is no ands, ifs, buts about it; I have made up my mind, he's the one.

But I guess karma has a way of catching up to people. Brandon ended up in ICU about a month ago. Him, Blake, and Callan were riding around on a golf cart, drinking. A cart was coming there way and Blake swerved to miss them, in doing that Brandon fell and busted his head onto the concrete. Callan ran off. He was caraflighted to JPS in fort worth. He died twice, and has had 4 open brain surgeries to stop the internal bleeding. He will be in rehab most likely for the next 5 months. If me and Bailey were still running with that crowd it could have been me or her that fell off that golf cart. But this has made Brandon want to graduate high school and even go to college. I guess big tragic moments involving life and death really makes a person look at their life. I'm just glad he is okay. I think I would have been pretty torn up if he had died... At one time we were best friends but not anymore.

work is stressful, it makes me not want kids. I just don't have the patience that it takes to work with 15 three year olds all in a tiny room. After an hour I'm wanting to rip my hair out... and after two hours I'm a mess... lol. So I'm thinking that teacher might not be the right area for me.

We got a new puppy. Her name is Calli. She is five weeks old as of today. She's full blood American stoutshire aka Pit Bull. She thinks she's furocious. But I'll have to put pics up because she is the cutest thing ever. :)

well I gotta go get ready for work :)



  1. Kelly, dear, I loved reading this. I am so beyond thrilled for all of the wonderful moments you've had with Dillon; brought to you by your past. I've had a few "mom was right" moments myself. I never doubt the Lord knows what he is doing in moments like that. I was thinking today how there were moments I just wished would have never happened, especially more recently, people I'm so angry with I wish I would have never met. I could just feel the Lord saying, but that made you the person you are now... that's so incredible! I'm proud of you! I love you! I miss you! <3

  2. I must be on crack b/c I could have sworn I posted a comment on this yeasterday!!!
    I'm glad you're doing well and back in the blog world!
    And don't give up on teaching. You just might not be cut out for 3 yr olds.. maybe a little older will be better for your sanity :)
    And of course its not as good as IT... IT ROCKS!!!
    Miss you bunches!